Consider This A Classified Leak

Back at Wayne Manor: When we last left Rich, he was soaring over the farmlands of Iraq with brief stopovers in BIAP, Abu Ghraib, and Fallujah. Upon hearing of Rich's arrival at each spot, the insurgents temporarily suppressed their evil actions due to utter fear.

Where can the line between sedition and patriotism be drawn? At what point are leaks of classified information no longer in the public interest? Within a matter of a week, The New York Times let the potential terrorists know another key in the fight to prevent future attacks and informed insurgents in Iraq that if they hold out long enough, General Casey will pull out a signifacant amount of troops. Can we finally admit that the interests of the paper is not parallel to the interests of America? Of course, all Americans need to know everything that goes on in our government. Tell me, when are we planning the next big attack in Iraq to flush out insurgents? To The New York Times, this information would be in the "public interest."

Governor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois has signed into law a bill that revokes the driver's license or learner's permit of any student who misses more than ten percent of the previous 180 school days. Good plan.

A man in Columbus, Ohio lied his way out of jury duty and faced the music. Benjamine Ratliffe, 21, told the court that he was having a "bad jonesin' for heroin" and that he "killed someone with [a gun]." This numbskull was charged with contempt of court and obstruction of justice, for which he spent a night in jail. Serves him right.

The D.C. area is flooded and rain is pounding the East (most likely caused by Global Warming). I suggest we evacuate the flooded areas, put the victims in hotel rooms across the country, and give them two thousand dollar debit cards. We did it with Katrina, why not elsewhere?

In a survey of 34 countries, America is the most patriotic. I'm assuming they didn't include the editorial boards of The New York Times and L.A. Times for the poll.

President Bush is determined to push through his good 'ol Social Security plan. As I've mentioned before, it's not the best, but it's something. (The best would to give me my money and let me plan my own damn retirement.) In a speech this morning, he stated, "If we can't get it done this year, I'm going to try next year. And if we can't get it done next year, I'm going to try the year after that, because it is the right thing to do. It's just so easy to say, let somebody else deal with it. Now is the time to solve the problems of Medicare and Social Security...".

Leander Kahney has a fun little piece on the weird transition of "iPod" into everday slang. The most interesting: podestrian and podaholic. I would definitely be considered a Pod snob (someone who plugs into their iPod to tune out others).

The "Flag Amendment" has failed, and by one vote in the Senate. What a waste of time that debate was. Honestly, there are more important things to discuss right now than setting Old Glory ablaze. Though, I am glad to see some Republicans had a clear head about the issue. OK. The base has been rallied. Can we please move on?