Apples, Stingrays, & Homos

The weather's getting better, but the food stays the same. On with the news and views...

It was a big day for Apple yesterday. Announcements included iTunes 7, a new iPod shuffle (world's smallest digital playback device), a new iPod nano line, a new 30gb and 80gb iPod, and the revelation of iTV, a wireless computer-to-television device debuting in 2007. My favorite unveiling was the update of iTunes. The new version allows iPods to sync up to two computers, convenient for travelers and multiple-computer nerds. It also has a better feel, movies, and NFL Season Pass, and Artist Album updates.

In addition to the War on Terrorism, the War on Poverty, the War on Drugs, the War on Christmas, and the War on Smoking, another frontal assault can be added to the agenda of the war machine: the War on Stingrays. Seeking vengance for the Croc Hunter's death, Aussies are beginning to slaughter the stinging beasts. Ten have already been found "mutilated" on Australian beaches. Also, in rememberance of Irwin, the down-under government designated September 8th as "Khaki Day" where everyone wears stereotypical Aussie multi-pocketed shirts and pants. Steve was probably the best thing to come out of Austrailia, because, as we all know, Foster's tastes like Croc piss.

Apparently, to Sen. Feingold (potential 2008 candidate), the moniker "islamic fascist" is "offensive." Since when was it important to shield people from hurt feelings when defending your nation was on the line?

Unfortunately, the 35-year-old Los Angeles Gay Pride Parade has lost a little of its pizaazz. The city council has commissioned a group to study the fizzle. One council member wonders, "How do we make it appealing to somebody who went to gay pride 20 years ago and doesn't have any compelling reason at this point to come back?" One suggestion was to bring in celebrities, like Paris Hilton in 2005, to bolster attendance. Unfortunately for these weirdos, Hilton (believe it or not) wasn't the best "role model for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people." Pherhaps Buffalo Bob (Silence of the Lambs) would have been more appropriate for their lifestyle.



Reading Assignments:
Claudia Rosett - "[T]he president ... has not beaten those tom-toms enough."