Tuesday Quick Hits

No luck tonight in Hold'em. On with the goodies.

I read Stan Goff's book Hideous Dream a few years ago. The guy's a decorated combat vet with a three-time combat veteran son. However, he has some very interesting views on the Marines in Haditha. For some reason, his rant reminds me of something Zarqawi might write. Don't forget what Rep. Murtha said was the real reason behind the slaughter: Bush.

A boy in China was born with a third arm. Though neither of his two left arms work, he's definitely lucky he wasn't the result of a poor Chinese domestic policy regarding an abundance of people.

TUAW has an awesome picture of a G4 Mailbox.

Anti-war protesters found out about a shipment of an Iraq-bound convoy of Stryker Armored Vehicles in the port of Olympia, Washington. They made a human chain and chanted, "Out of Olympia, Out of Iraq" while attempting to stop the shipment. Some were arrested, others pepper-sprayed. Let's clear something up. These fools don't want supplies to reach the troops which help save American lives and destroy enemies of the armed forces. Please, someone call that patriotism. At least Joel Stein can be honest about his convictions: those who oppose the war, but support the troops are just "covering their ass." Well said.

One of my favorite beach-reads is The 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America by Bernard Goldberg. Jack Huberman counters the book with his own The 101 People Who Are Really Screwing Up America. Spoiler: Bush is #2, trumped only by the evil, evil Dick Cheney. I'm definitely adding this to my queue. Oh, and God is on the list.

Finally, RedState has a good piece on comparing Haditha to My Lai.

Memorial Day Off

Today, in memoriam of those who have given their lives for the cost of freedom throughout the world, I was given my second day off in the last three months. I spent the day relaxing, reading, and playing a few rounds of online poker. It was great. To make it even better, a fellow poker-player (a bloke from Manchester) had a few words about my tour in Iraq. The following is our online conversation (I am "Gorgonzola"):

[16:59:24] Limaz : lol
[16:59:26] Limaz : hi
[16:59:36] Gorgonzola : hey there
[17:00:02] Limaz : you arnt really in iraq are you
[17:01:45] Gorgonzola : yeah
[17:01:47] Gorgonzola : the IZ
[17:02:04] Gorgonzola : quite the life, eh?
[17:02:15] Limaz : indeed
[17:02:31] Limaz : youfrom iraq
[17:02:35] Gorgonzola : nah
[17:02:36] Gorgonzola : ky
[17:02:44] Gorgonzola : on my second deployment
[17:02:45] Limaz : KY?
[17:02:53] Gorgonzola : Kentucky... USA
[17:02:59] Limaz : oh
[17:03:29] Limaz : leave tose poor bast ards alone you oil plundering pirates
[17:03:38] Gorgonzola : heh
[17:04:16] Gorgonzola : I'd love to be in Haditha with the Marines
[17:05:03] Limaz : its disgusting im sorry its not a personal thing againts you is just the bush blair thing im all againt
[17:05:26] Gorgonzola : and I'm all for... how bout that...
[17:05:35] Limaz : lol
[17:06:21] Limaz : i hope you all get nuked you C>>U>>N>>T>>S
[17:06:36] Gorgonzola : I'll make sure I shoot one for you when I'm out on convoy
[17:06:45] Gorgonzola : ;)
[17:07:03] Gorgonzola : hmmm I thought it was nothing personal
[17:07:26] Limaz : you are an a ss hole i can handle that
[17:07:56] Gorgonzola : compliments are always welcome
[17:07:58] Gorgonzola : where you from?
[17:09:22] Limaz : mind you the iraqies dont have to fookin shoot you guys because you dozey barst ards shoot yourselves lol FRIENDLY FIRE lol lo l ol o l o l o l o l o l o
[17:10:17] Gorgonzola : not that much, actually, but I'm enjoying your rant... keep at it.
[17:11:20] Limaz : all this technology and you still cant find him thats priceless
[17:11:51] Gorgonzola : I pay for this luxury.
[17:12:15] Gorgonzola : so do the Iraqis at the new internet cafes down the street
[17:12:31] Limaz : get shot
[17:12:53] Gorgonzola : I'll work on it
[17:13:03] Gorgonzola : you tell my wife if you see her...
[17:13:13] Limaz : you see that you do
[17:13:30] Limaz : i was with her last nite
[17:13:45] Gorgonzola : here we go
[17:17:21] Limaz : whats up soldier lost you balls
[17:17:46] Gorgonzola : well, you enjoy your day. good luck with that anti-war stuff.
[17:18:12] Limaz : dickhead

But don't you dare question his patriotism.

Blogiversary

It's been a year. Light the candle.

I'm really looking forward to catching Al Gore's first movie, An Inconvenient Truth and book by the same title. Unfortunately, the Competitive Enterprise Institute may be ruining some of his fun.

CNN interviewed a doc who claims he can cure gayness. It's well worth the watch. Hopefully, this gayness disease doesn't spread. It has already infected most of San Francisco. Maybe the doc could go out there and put his talents to good use.

Not to be outdone by the AIDS genocide plot or the CIA plot to kill blacks by crack, President Bush has genetically altered the bird flu to spread from human to human. The first case has possibly been found in Indonesia, killing seven family members.

If you're in for a good chuckle, check out Dr. Mike Adams' Hate Mail Bag. It's filled with excellent rebuttals to the most unhinged comments and questions regarding his columns.

That's all. Not much for today.

Cheers & Jeers

Cheers:

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue held an after-prom for high school students to send a message to teens that you can have fun without drinking. The $22,000 party was well-received by the students and prevented possible DUIs and injuries.

Apple has finally announced its MacBook to replace the iBook. Black or White.

Roboraptor has got to be one of the coolest toys on the market. At nearly three feet tall, this dinobot comes with three distinct moods and will hunt you down in your own house. Great for small children or easily scared grannies.

Jeers:

George W. is attempting to dig himself out of this ratings ditch and build his base back up by putting Guard troops on the border. “Veterans, welcome back home. Thank you for serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now get on the border!” There are so many things wrong with this solution.

Alligators have killed three people in a matter of a week down in Florida, though there have only been 18 deaths related to these beasts since 1948. Does anyone else smell an uprising?

A new panderer on the scene, Michael Smerconish, is a rightwing pundit and radio host blogging with the leftwing Huffington Post. What a coincidence that he has a new book coming out.

Christians (and especially Catholics) are protesting “The Da Vinci Code” movie with Tom Hanks. I’m amazed that people are so sensitive over a book found in the fiction section of the library. Well, at least they’re aren’t threatening people with beheadings or burning down buildings over cartoons.

Paul Haggis directed the movie Crash. I saw it for the first time last night. It was a well-directed movie, but the plot and message were laughable. Don’t have white guilt? Watch this and your heart will bleed like the rest.

America, the Country Club

For the last year or so, on the basis of many topics, I’ve begun to regard America as the finest country club in the world. Consider it the “Indian Hill” of the globe.

Truthfully, the America Country Club has all you can ask for. Sure, other clubs have a lot to offer, but not the glorious commodities at the extensive rate club-members enjoy. Our club has the finest pools, attractions, and wooded areas one could imagine. Our staff maintains the roads, lawns, and most amenities. We only have one catch here at the America Country Club, you must pay membership fees. Compared to other clubs, our fees are considerably lower for the freedoms you can enjoy.

Joining the America Country Club is easy. Simply submit an application and our Board of Directors will review it for safety and security purposes. Our rival clubs claim the process is too lengthy, but consider what you receive for the wait and effort:

Lifetime membership
On-demand access to our 24-hour on-site nurse
Access to our free snack-bar
Free financial aid (some restrictions apply)
A say on our Board of Directors and election of our Club Director
Enforced gate security
Your children, grandchildren, and generations to follow are granted full access without entrance fee

Joining the America Country Club grants you all these luxuries and more! All you have to do is submit the form and pay the entry fee. Can’t afford the entry fee? Just let our Board know of your dire situation and we may consider bringing you in to alleviate your poor situation in your current club.

However, lately, there have been some people who want to be part of the club but don’t want to pay the entrance fee. Late at night, they will sneak over the fence behind the pool house and consider themselves permanent guests of the club. We have caught a few eating at our nightly buffet and some even apply for our free financial aid. For some reason, they have blended in with the legitimate club members and some have even come to accept the gate-jumpers as America Country Club members, even though they have not paid the entrance fee nor membership fees.

The America Country Club should take a very firm position on the illegitimate club members. Just because they have snuck by our premise security and consider themselves full members does not mean they are. If you dress up like a bear long enough, that doesn’t make you a bear.

Members who sympathize or hire illegitimate America Country Club members to fetch them martinis should realize that our membership rates will rise if these gate-jumpers continue to claim membership.

Perhaps the best solution to this problem is reliant on club members. We will need more gate security guards to watch for jumpers. Most will need to be positioned by the pool house. The other part of the solution calls for club members to stop paying Paco to rub lotion on their backs while tanning. If you are interested in a rub-down, we have many people on staff willing to help out. If someone breaks this rule, your membership will still be valid, but your monthly fee will rise considerably until you cease such practices.

The America Country Club is the best country club because of all the luxuries it offers for such a nominal cost. Allowing non-members to come in without going through the process is placing a burden on those who will continue to enjoy our members-only freedoms for generations to come.