Dems Grill Roberts On Choice Of Lunch

It was another rough day for Judge Roberts today. At around 11:00, the Judiciary Committee decided they were ordering in for lunch. Here's what happened.

Sen. Kennedy: Hey Joe, how's 'bout we order in for lunch. I need something to wash down with my flask of Jack.

Sen. Biden: Yeah. Sounds like a good idea, Ted. I'll have the intern run out and get us some sammiches from the deli. You want ham or turkey?

Sen. Kennedy: I'll have turkey. Hold the mayo. Hey, Roberts, you want in on this?

Judge Roberts: No, I'm not a big drinker.

Sen. Kennedy: Not the booze. That's mine! I'm talkin' about some sandwiches.

Judge Roberts: I'm humble that you would ask me. I don't want to comment on that as it may be something I have to decide on later.

Sen. Biden: You want turkey or ham?

Judge Roberts: Well, I think I already answered your question, senator.

Sen. Biden: You've had turkey before. You want turkey again?

Judge Roberts: At the time, I ate turkey, but today I may have a different opinion on roasted bird. I may also have the same opinion on it as before, too.

Sen. Kennedy: Damnit, John! You've said I don't know how many times you said you like turkey over ham.

Judge Roberts: Others are making decisions about sandwiches at this time, so I'd rather not comment on the way I feel.

Sen. Biden: You're- You're wasting my time, judge! I don't have time for these games!

Judge Roberts: I think I've made myself perfectly clear, Senator Biden. I have a personal preference of lunchmeat, but because of what has happened, what will happen, and what is happening now, I think it is in the interest of the court I not reveal my personal preference on the subject of lunchmeat. Thank you though for asking me. I'm very humbled.

Sen. Kennedy: Well, we're getting you turkey.

Sen. Biden: Do you want chips? I'm getting barbeque.

Judge Roberts: Thank you again for asking me. But, as I have already stated, I don't want you to hold me to my word on sandwiches or chips. I may want ham now, but in the future I may want turkey. ... Or ham.

Sen Biden: That's enough, judge. Talk to me like a man. Just pretend we're best buds and you want to order lunch.

Sen. Kennedy: That's it! John, you're getting tuna.
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*UPDATE: For the sake of creativity, I came up with this skit prior to reading David Brooks' Op-Ed piece in the New York Times.