A Satirical Letter to the New York Times

Dear NYT Columnist James Risen,

Like you and others at the Times, I hate America. Thank you so much for exposing the Bush administration's tactics to stop further attacks on national soil. The act of violating the civil liberties of a few to prevent possible murders of thousands is dispicable of the evil republicans. I know we're at war, but it's an illegal war that was sold to the American public on lies and trumped up information. War gives no excuse to listen in on phone calls or read emails of citizens in the U.S. that are talking with al Qaeda members in Afghanistan. It is our Fourth Amendment that gives American citizens - and those here illegally - the right to speak to whomever we choose without fearing the government will pick up on our treacherous activities without a warrant.

I know the neocons will blame you for trying to sell a book due out in the coming weeks. That's all the conservatives do though - attack the motive of the person undermining the administration. It's not treasonous... it's patriotic. Who considers the source anymore, anyway? I'm glad you used the Times front page to publicize your book. Before this, I hadn't heard of "State of War" and now I know of a good read to pick up to add to my collection of Michael Moore, Mary Mapes, Al Franken, and Wesley Clarke.

As for the purported "bias" of the Times, it's just a bunch of balogna. That's just a tactic of the evil conservatives to get their kool-aid drinking cult to read only the fascist-right Drudge Report. Please keep exposing the horrible job the troops are doing in Iraq and the Bush administration's attempt to save Americans from a future terrorist attack at the expense of a few. If it weren't for people like you and others at the Times and WaPo, who would we listen to?

Enjoy your day.

-Rich